The archive of my digital expressions.
The importance of togetherness, union, community has been stressed since the beginning of time, because apparently complete solitude is unforgivably detrimental. In some ways I agree, but is living a life alone really impossible? Having to rely on others when the going gets rough, having to depend on others when your needs have succeeded the means : it's disgustingly difficult.
I love my independence. I love to wander out in the streets alone, dance frantically around my house listening to gangster hip-hop when no one’s around, I love doing things by myself. But as it’s been said, you cannot live a life alone… so I’m in a situation where I am obliged to rely on someone else. I’m living in someone else’s home, and every day its awkward, every day I feel like I’m on treading on egg shells, every day is stressful. Not to say that I don’t have a good time while I’m here, or I don’t see any positives, but whenever something is clouded by negatives it is difficult to see the silver lining. I hate it. I hate having rules that I’m not used to following, I hate having to rely on someone else to feed me, I hate having to ask to help because they are as self-reliant as I am. Two self-reliant people being in the same place is… let’s just say… stifling. Now you may be siding with whomever I am living with, or you may be siding with me, or you maybe Switzerland right now, I don't know. I don’t expect sympathy, in fact it’s one of the worst feelings to feel, being on the other end of someone’s sympathy. It can feel slightly patronising depending on the situation at hand. Anyways, what does this have to do with the importance of self-reliance? Not much to be quite honest, this is clearly a rant. In a rant, nothing pieces together as they should, justifications don’t follow examples and irrationality becomes a forefront. We spout things we don’t mean, or if we do mean them we cannot/are unable to express them with the intellect that we want : I just want to be self-reliant. It is important to know when you have to be, and when you have to let it go. And if you are feeling discomfort relying on someone that is not yourself, then you had better go and take care of it in a manner that will benefit yourself as soon as possible. P.S There is nothing but unjustified, relentless, passive aggression in this post and I’m not even going to edit it because I have been crying. So, take from this what you will. Thank-you. [UPDATE: I edited it hehe]
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